Facebookisms.
Jan. 25. 2012
Well, facebook has officially taken over the World…and our time. Crazy.
While I usually try to blog about the Austin Real Estate market, home prices, new projects, properties I have viewed recently and all that jazz. I decided to write one of my pure observations of Facebook World.
A good amount of my “free” time, not really sure what that is, exactly, but I don’t think I spend it wisely… is wasted on the Internet. Sometimes browsing the latest item on Pinterest. Some times watching funny videos on Break.com or YouTube. Sometimes spent on the MLS (for those of you non-real-estaters MLS is the multiple listing service that us agents use to find all sorts of fun, compelling information) looking up properties, emailing and yes… of course, the biggest time waster: (if you want to see it that way, which I kind of don’t to a certain degree) Facebook (like my page, please!) ha.
Like most of you I have my fair share of observations and opinions. While facebook has many perks of keeping people in touch, increasing company advertising dollars, stalking your ex through a friend of a friend’s photos…you get the picture. I often wonder how much time is diminished reading facebook posts, writing them, uploading photos and worrying about what someone did or did not see on that site. (Especially in the work place).
Here are some of the classifications of Facebook World, I’d like to share and point out (if I missed any, feel free to comment below).
The Nanas, Memaws, Papas <The Fogies of Facebook>
I love ya Baby Boomer Generation and great depression survivors but if you just learned how to turn on a computer or open an email account; Facebook may not be for you. I know it is nice to see daily photos of your grandchildren walking, sleeping, eating and pooping posted as you “like” EVERY. SINGLE. PHOTO, write a full, 2 paragraph message as a post on a wall, never understand sarcasm of other’s posts and frankly, you have yet to figure out how that computer cam works for your profile photo (Smile AT the camera, not looking down at the screen. Camera is the little thing on top).
<Excessive LOLers>
I don’t know what it is about the term “LOL” maybe I over used it in high school when I would AOL instant message my friends after school and we’d be talking about how cool we were, how homework sucked and the daily shenanigans of High Schooldom. “LOL” is abused and it needs to be stopped. Wait, I just had an epiphany….I don’t use “LOL.”, I use “haha” is my “haha” over-used because I refuse to type the term, “lol” every time I find something slightly humorous? And do you people (you people being those who over use that term) REALLY laugh out loud that much?! When I sit alone on my computer it is quite rare I read something and actually laugh aloud. Not to say I don’t find things funny, I just can’t really laugh aloud at them. What would my neighbors sitting at the table in the coffee shop next to me think if I did? Just sayin’. I do find myself LOLing (ugh I just cringed as I read that to myself while typing) from time to time. I still prefer “haha” Oh, and lmfao and all other versions of LOL totally annoy me as well. I wish there was something invented where we could record our real laughs and then that could be a button/widget we attach to anything we think is funny (there probably already is and I am just so behind and dumb I don’t know if it yet). That way people can actually hear us laughing, and not question if we were just being fake and trying to make them feel good about their lame joke. (Just kidding!…or am I?!)
<Weally Weally Pwoud Mommies Club>
I probably can’t knock this group too much on my site, because in the future I will be a big fat hypocrite documenting my every moment being preggers, and I don’t want all my hot mama friends to take any offense (eh, like anyone reads this, who am I kididng)?! I have plenty of friends with children. I am friends with you on facebook, not your child. Do you have a life now? Yes, I know it revolves around your child(ren), but do you have any opinions any more? Is being pregnant really that awesome? Because I sure do hear otherwise. Do you get to do anything else?! Talk about the best form of birth control! Any teen kid that starts having unprotected sex should just have a facebook account where all they see are Moms all day long talking about their kids and posting photos. No other friends. Just a newsfeed full of moms, moms to be, grandmas, in-laws. That’ll teach ’em real quick!
“My pretty baby got her first shot today!” “Look at Baby So-and- So sleeping,” “Baby so-and- so is going to be such a good big brother/sister” “We’re going for our first car ride.” “Look baby so-and-so’s first poopy diaper” “Look I am 3mo pregnant (side belly bathroom mirror photo)…4mo pregnant…5mo pregnant…6mo pregnant…7mo pregnant” You get the idea. Do I love kids? Yes. And not to brag, but they usually like me too! By the way, baby names have gotten out of control these days, So-and-So is an actual baby name I can’t wait to name my first born. Kidding, but if I were to sub any baby names I was afraid I would be singling people out. Plus if I really did disclose my favorite baby names my future unborn child will be cursed for me writing such a negative blog post.
<Ke$ha Syndrome>
These are the females on facebook (normally I’d say ages 20-34, but the older I get, the more I have decided I can open it from about 13-55) who LOVE to take photos of themselves in bathroom mirrors…alone…usually dressed quite provocatively. They aren’t strippers or hookers (ok, maybe some of them are in so many ways?), but these girls?…ladies?…women? Post a photo of themselves in the middle of the day with a cutesy little caption and get great pleasure from the feasting male commentators. “87 likes, 45 comments on how good I look? Yes please.” Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy photo taking. Hell, I have like 67 albums. Do I take 30 photos in one night out with my friends–each one with a slightly (or greatly exaggerated) expression? Yes. But that isn’t what I am talking about. That is drunk camera usage. This Ke$ha syndrome is different. Girls puttin’ it all out there. (Or as a woman once loudly said in lieu of our bachelorette attire in Las Vegas: “That girl is just givin’ it all away”) Yes, I agree things have changed, we are vain as a society and possibly sex-obsessed, but something about “less is more” comes to mind… not less clothing either. But the reason you see 12 and 13yo girls posing like a playmate and wearing mid-drift baring shirts is because of the examples they are seeing. Wow, as I read this the gray hair is sprouting through my scalp and I can see myself shaking my cane at meddling kids in the driveway. Do I sound too old? Maybe just jealous of all the hot women out there who post photos of themselves in scantily clad outfits? Umm…no. Have a little more respect for yourselves, ladies. Facebook is not FuturePlaymatesWannaBe.com.
<Debbie Downers and Mundane Mollys>
I get it. You had a bad day. I have them too. We all do. Some times it is fun to share. Some times we need those cyber hugs, and positive comments to keep us afloat…But I am really getting tired of reading about how every little thing in your life goes wrong. Nothing ever goes your way. Your life sucks so bad. You know why it does? Because YOU have a shitty attitude, that’s why. I can’t stand Debbie Downers in real life, and especially on Facebook. If you aren’t sure if this is you, go to your page. Are the last 5 posts from you something negative about your day. If 3 of those posts are the same day–you need to check yourself. Maybe head on down to Half Priced Books and head over to the self help section, and read something about positive thinking or The Secret or something. Negative people really make me thankful to have a family that raised us with a “don’t sweat the small stuff/ pick yourself back up” attitude. Do bad things happen to you that are out of your control? Absolutely and I am sorry, I really am. I realize that not everyone is fortunate and blessed in life and life can be easier for others, but it is just depressing to read that you can’t be happier or happy about something in your life. “Now turn that frown upside down!!!” (have to read previous sentence in a real annoying, Secretary from the movie Office Space type voice).
Those of you who don’t have frowns but don’t have happy faces either (Mundane Mollies) I don’t care about EVERY. SINGLE. THING. you did today. You all know you have a friend or two on facebook like this. “What a yummy breakfast” “I hate MoPac Traffic” “Ugh Mondays suck” “Yay I got a raise today” “Lunch was so yummy today!” “So glad this day is over!” “I ran 3miles on the treadmill today” “Mmmm I made a delicious dinner for my Love” Stop it. No one cares. They would if you posted stuff a little more interesting, funny, maybe a photo, something NEW, but no. The truth is, you are boring and have nothing going on that is considered exciting in your life. Crap. I just had another epiphany, perhaps my life is quite mundane. My most recent facebook posts involved me making a mess in the microwave with oatmeal, getting my passport (but having no place to go) and the fact I am now obsessed with Breaking Bad…slightly behind the times. So, I guess life is life…and that’s all there is too it.
<Shameless Self Promoter>
Don’t you point your finger at me folks, I have a business page AND a personal page for a reason! Do they overlap, yes, a little, I try not to overkill. I suppose the wonderful thing about Facebook is the shameless promoting. Yourself. Your job. Your band. Your product. Other products (you probably get money for promoting). It connects us all, helps us remember what you do, your Birthday, and encourages us to go to whatever the hell event that you have been promoting for a month, but just like those Soccer moms, don’t make work your life. Get a fan page, a like page–whatever the heck is called nowadays. Those fan/business pages are there so your friends can voluntarily be annoyed by you, by “liking your page.” Typing of which! Don’t forget to like me and please, suggest me to friends, it is greatly appreciated (see, that plug was a little less of the “in yo face, all the time’ approach). See was that so hard? Ask for business from time to time, not with a million event invites and EVERY post on your personal page be about what you are selling, people often get tired of it. And people that know me…or don’t…if I do this too much you just let me know (though you have probably already blocked my status updates or deleted me as a friend). I really try not to bore you with real estate too much on my personal page. I think I may be doing a good job because not long ago I got a message (via FB of course) that stated, “Hey, I didn’t know you were in real estate, but now that I do, I want to buy a condo, can you help me?” I feel bad for almost not promoting myself more (I mean, people it is how I put food on the table…well, it is how I am able to go out to eat so someone else can put food on the table, we all know I am not the best of chefs), but then again, I know it is one of my pet peeve that drives me crazy!
Anyway, it is late (per usual my night-owlness and determination to finish has kicked in), but I would love to hear your crazy Facebookisms, pet peeves, and characters I may have missed in Facebook World. I know the tone of this post probably came across as abrasive and mean, but in all honesty I do appreciate Social Networking these days. It is just crazy. Slightly out of control, but if there wasn’t facebook, I really feel like I would be so out of touch with people. Not people that I don’t care to see, but even some of my favorite people, closest friends and family. It is as if facebook keeps me in check–“Don’t forget to call mom!” “Wish ___a Happy Birthday–a real one, by sending a card, not a FB post.” etc. Without facebook I wouldn’t get to see where people are and show up uninvited! Without Facebook I wouldn’t get to see how much weight everyone (myself included) has gained since high school! See, so many perks to Facebook World. I wonder when computer programs are going to start automatically capitalizing Facebook, recognizing it as a pronoun and making those red squiggly lines underneath it disappear when I type? Now, do me a favor and “like me,” if not the real me, at least the Facebook/Cyber/Best foot forward me. As always, thanks for reading.
